My psychology of fat (background)

[under construction.  I have to write this one carefully.  But here's an IM conversation with Melissa from Apr. 5, after the first appointment.]

[1:53:22 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Looking at myself in the mirror is different now

[1:53:30 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Because - I feel more of a sense of control over it

[1:53:48 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Because of that I despise what I see more... I am refusing to be accepting of it...

[1:53:53 PM] Karen Wehrstein: but it is also liberating

[1:54:26 PM] Karen Wehrstein: It's this weird schizophrenic thing - feeling half as if the diet is a threat and half as if it's a huge liberation

[1:54:44 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Part of me feels like - ehh - this should be easy - why are people making a big deal about it?

[1:55:12 PM] Karen Wehrstein: But another part is terrified - my eating habits are so ingrained (the thought goes) that is it even possible to change them?

[1:55:20 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Can I handle it?

[1:55:37 PM] Karen Wehrstein: I have these routines, you know - the bacon & eggs, the PB sandwich - that I've had for decades

[1:55:59 PM] Karen Wehrstein: But another part of me says ehhh I'll just get used to it is all

[1:56:13 PM] Karen Wehrstein: If I'm not hungry for more than the first week, how can I be unable to get used to it?

[1:56:25 PM] Karen Wehrstein: I just have to find other pleasurable food habits inside of the IP protocol

[1:56:52 PM] Karen Wehrstein: That schizophrenia extends to deciding the start date too

[1:57:10 PM] Karen Wehrstein: I am planning for Saturday because that's when I'll be back from TO -

[1:57:36 PM] Karen Wehrstein: But part of me wanted to start THIS MORNING and only didn't because I didn't have enough veggies and had too much work on my plate to go shopping.

[1:57:58 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Approach/avoidance...

[1:58:16 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Want to get into it, get it moving, get the change that will make me ecstatic happening, get it over with

[1:58:26 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Wanting to run away from the whole thing...

[1:58:36 PM] Karen Wehrstein: But there is no way I could once I knew the potential

[1:58:39 PM] Karen Wehrstein: Even with the price

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